“500 words Dave, lets get it going”

Posted 2/22/10 by D-Mac

So, I’m sitting here at work and I receive an e-mail with the aforementioned subject line at approximately 10:38am.

The body of the e-mail contains no words.. only this link:


What a Missing Boner may look like..

It’s a funny thing.. I have a degree in Finance from Villanova University. I am experienced in securities lending, repurchase agreement brokerage, residential and commerical mortgage loan origination and underwriting.. Heck, I’m a father of two children.. and what does it all boil down to? What is my lot in life?

Yep.. when “Boner” from Growing Pains goes missing, my friends would like to hear my take on it. How can I even remotely take offense to that, considering..

(a) I already knew what the article was about before clicking on it because I had seen a different article about the same topic linked on Fark.com earlier this morning

(b) I have no idea where the stock market opened up this morning

(c) I still have no idea what the stock market has done all morning

So really, I guess it’s just kind of empowering that I not only know who I am and what I’m interested in.. but my friends do as well.

Now to give the man some respect.. Andrew Koenig, the actor who portrayed “Boner”, one of Mike Seaver’s friends on the hit 80’s series “Growing Pains” is a prime example of a young actor pretty much killing his career before it ever got started. Now, I never knew that he was the son of Walter Koenig, who played Chekov on the original “Star Trek” series until reading some of the reader comments in the articles that I read this morning.. which kind of makes this all the more sad.

Here’s a kid that had connections to the industry and was probably a gung ho teenager ready to start his acting career and excited about his first big break. In an almost Faustian twist of fate, this big break was the role of Richard “Boner” Stabone. As if giving the character the nickname “Boner” wasn’t bad enough.. just for overkill purposes, they made his first name Richard. Yes, Dick “Boner” Stabone. I mean, even in the 80’s, the word “Boner” had only one meaning, as the aternative meaning of someone commmitting a mistake or a gaffe was a distant second to the slang word for erection that the word had become associated with.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers for “Growing Pains” had a nice chuckle or guffaw (hey, I used gaffe.. I had to use guffaw a sentence later..) at the studio executives’ expense by pitching the character as someone  that always makes mistakes and that’s why they call him “Boner”..  meanwhile knowing that every twelve year old sitting at home would be getting their own boners over Joanna Kerns, who played Mrs. Seaver… oh and guffawing at the character’s name everytime it was uttered as well.

I mean, here’s a situation that is a little different than an Urkel or a Screech where an actor took the role as a child and as the progressing seasons went on, the character became more and more outlandish as to almost become caricatures of the original characters as Jaleel White and Dustin Diamond grew older.. because in this case, the character of Richard Stabone wasn’t that ridiculous. It was your typical, dimwitted Italian role that made Matt LeBlanc millions a decade later on “Friends”. Matter of fact, if the character hadn’t been named “Boner”, it would be like the case of Mike’s other friend on “Growing Pains.. nobody would remember the character’s name or even what he looked like..

Nope, here wa s a situation from the get-go, that basically left Andrew Koenig with the choice up front.. star on a hit tv show but forever be known as “Boner” or maybe let this role pass by and possibly never get a shot at big time network tv again? In this day and age with people scratching, clawing and generally making complete asses of themselves to get their fifteen minutes of fame on reality television, people have done a lot worse to enter the public spotlight.

So the poor guy is forever known as “Boner”. The shame of it all is Andrew Koenig is a decent actor.. I remember seeing this homemade Batman movie a few years ago where he plays the role of the Joker. I mean, granted he’s no Heath Ledger in the role.. but hey, he’s not half bad.

In all seriousness, I pray that Mr. Koenig turns up alive and well. I’m sure his family is worried sick about him and for their sake, I am hoping he’s just been busy attending Olympic events up in Vancouver and hasn’t had time to call them.



778 words.

11 Responses to ““500 words Dave, lets get it going””

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    Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
    And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! 🙂

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    Thanks, Trooper.

    What did you agree with specifically?

    Dave is not used to people agreeing with him, so I’m eager to get his ego boosted here!

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